Hilarious Search Queries: Have You Googled For These Before?

I love Google Analytics. It is a program that allows you to track the visitors as well as the traffic sources. Sort of like a tracking program, and best of all, it is dependable and free. More props for Google for coming up with better and better stuff over the years.

I admit that I am extremely intrigued by how people get to this site. After all, this will help me to increase the traffic flow to this website in the future, but mostly it is because I am curious. Curiosity always gets the cat. I enjoy looking at the search queries that people typed in in order to get directed here…so far, the one that shows up most propecia prices frequently is a variation of this:

“Teacher in bikini”

Guess you know which post they were headed to when they were searching for that. But I doubt they found what they are actually looking for (bikini pics are seriously lacking in this site!). Tough luck.

A few more other queries that kept popping up include: “How to propose”, “How much does a 0.5 carat diamond ring cost”, “interesting toilet design”, “how to Generic Levitra Super Active+ Online Pharmacy | Buy Levitra Super Active+ | Cheap Levitra Super Active+ | Order Generic Levitra Super Active+ Online without Prescription open a home manicure/pedicure”, etc

Warning: Some of the below information might be offensive. Don’t say order cheap amoxil I don’t warn you. Proceed at your own risk

Mine was not really that interesting compared to some other search queries from other people’s website. Check out this thread in Snark forum if you want a good laugh. Some selected ones which have managed to amuse me the most are listed below, including my thoughts after I have seen them:

my boobs are ticklish
Lolz why do you need to search for this? If it is itchy, then doesn’t common sense tell you to scratch it?

tree sex/have sex with tree/tree cialis generika porn/tree rape
My vocabulary has just increased yesterday when I learned there are actually terms for such ‘abnormal’ love: arbophilia/dendrophilia. Check out the support group here, which has guys/girls writing poems/songs expressing their passionate love to their beloved trees and flowers in their backyard. I do not know whether this is a joke or if it is a real medical condition. I admit I am extremely curious to know

can you keep a tampon inside you for three days
No. And obviously kamagra cheapest you never read the instruction manual that comes together with the box.

how to play piano with typewriter
Is this supposed to be some creative ideas on what you can do with your antique typewriter?

type of condom personality
Wait, a piece of rubber actually has personality? Wow.

can you feel a tapeworm?
Don’t you think it is better for you to ask this to a real doctor?

do phone sex operators hate it when you hang up on them?
Put yourself in their shoes. How would you feel if you are talking dirty halfway and the other party slam the phone down on you? Why do you even ask this in the first place?

um, I forgot what I was using the Internet for, can you help me?
Yes, since you have forgotten, why don’t you turn off your computer and go do something else instead?

I had a few hours of good laughter reading all those queries. Now, what about you looking through your search queries list (if you don’t have one, just register your site with Google Analytics and you might see amazing results in cytotec for abortion a few days time) and share them with me?