Silence.
Posted by: Wendy
filed under: Miscellaneous
Tags: thoughts
Have you ever encountered a situation when both you and the person you are talking to, suddenly fell silent and the conversation between the two of you just..died? If that happens to you, do you try hard to find something else to say to fill the gap or are you Generic Levitra Online Pharmacy comfortable with the silence?
I am someone who is not comfortable with silence that occurs during conversation. More often than cialis no prescription not, I will end up blabbering about something nonsensical and random just to keep the conversation going. I remember this quote well:
I can’t stop talking for the fear of the sound of silence.
Yes, for me, silence can be deafening. It provokes in me the thought that maybe there is something wrong with me, there is something propecia prices wrong with the things I have said or kamagra cheapest maybe the other party is just so bored with me he or she doesn’t want to talk any further.
It is part of my insecurities. I wish I would stop being squirmish and uneasy when the conversation halts to a stop and learn to accept that order cheap amoxil there is such thing as companionable silence.
What do you do when there is silence? cytotec for abortion
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Detailing the day to day happenings of the two.
(Arguments not included)
I have a friend who calls me and other friends a lot during the holidays. After the initial discussion on how we’ve been she lapses into complete silence, either because she can’t or won’t talk about something that’s upsetting her. One of my friends is very used to this, and simply ignores the phone until she does start talking, and works instead. Apparently she’s had silence for nearly an hour before, and can deal with that, but when that happens to me, after a minute or two, I have to change the subject because I get uncomfortable with long silences too. I have to have music or the TV on in the background to feel comfortable anywhere, and like you I have to start up conversations with people if we’re going too long without talking. What is very uncomfortable is if I feel that I can’t start conversations, like with elderly relatives…
Ann
January 5th, 2009, 8:07 pm
I dislike silence. I have always tried to come up with a topic whenever I’m walking with someone, especially family members and friends. When we stop talking, I would do the same too as I feel that I have annoyed them or something. *paranoid*
I won’t do anything unless I really want to know/talk to him/her
RiN
January 5th, 2009, 8:45 pm
It depends on the person who I’m with. If it’s someone I hardly know, I’ll try and keep up a conversation.
If it’s my boyfriend or a friend I won’t try to come up with a conversation – it’ll roll by itself again
Tracy
January 5th, 2009, 9:54 pm
I find silence uncomfortable, and have the same thoughts as you when they occur, but only when I’m with someone I don’t know well. I don’t mind it when the conversation falls silent with one of my closest friends or my boyfriend.
Unless it’s a pretty obvious “I can’t think of anything to say” moment. That’s slightly embarrassing. Especially since I always blank completely on something to say because I get so stressed by the silence.
Mari
January 6th, 2009, 2:30 am
With friends, I don’t mind the silence. But when it’s awkward, I always look for *anything* to say; usually I ask a question. And the other person almost always seems really thankful that I broke the silence
Kaylee
January 6th, 2009, 4:54 am
I get uneasy when there’s a silence in conversations too.. with most people. But not with everyone. I suppose there’s no need to fill the gap – but I always try to!
There are certain people who – don’t ask me why, I have no idea – I can have silences with without either of us perceiving it as awkward. Even from the first time we met!
I guess you need to be on the same wavelength as the person you’re talking to in order to know that the silence is ok. Or if you’re not on it, you need to at least have an understanding of it – through knowing them for a long time, maybe.
Aoife
January 6th, 2009, 11:31 am
The thing is, there are different types of silences — cold, uncomfortable ones and understanding, “no words are needed ones”. I guess it all depends on how tuned in you are to other non-verbal behavior.
As for me, I tend to be pretty comfortable with silence; sometimes I get tired of talking and just want to enjoy the other person’s company without saying a word.
Robmarie
January 6th, 2009, 4:18 pm
Whether silences are good or bad, is entirely situational for me.
I’m pretty shite at random social conversation, so silences with people I have just met or social acquaintances or casual friends is not particularly comfortable. I usually don’t get squeamish, though, am more likely to just ease (weasle) my way out of the (non)conversations.
However, with some people silences are easy, and these are the most comfortable and comforting silences. Comfortable because I have no reason or pressure to find something to talk about or create interest to fill dead space ; comforting because I feel closer/ even more fondly toward this person. Because sharing silences is one of the surest signs that one is at complete ease with someone, happy with just being, with sharing the space (physically and mentally), the mood, the moment in time.
shakester
January 6th, 2009, 4:34 pm
I agree with a bunch of people here who have said that they feel uncomfortable when it’s with strangers…. but with close friends/family, it’s okay. I mean, actually, with close friends and family, I rarely encounter times when there is nothing to say, because we’ll comfortably fill gaps with random and meaningless stuff — whatever pops into our heads. With strangers or acquaintances, you feel more self-conscious about the topic of conversation — hoping that it’s intelligent or witty or interesting, etc –, so there are more opportunities for that awkward silence.
Erica
January 7th, 2009, 12:16 am
If it’s a situation where you know the person very well it’s generally a case of having exhausted the topic enough to feel ok about it and start on something else. It’s the beginnings of a friendship or the like when it’s most difficult because you don’t know the person.
Charlie
January 7th, 2009, 8:00 am