Nov 2008

Is Cleavage Everything to Men?

Posted by: Wendy
filed under: tug-o-war


I recently read in a book with this sentence,”Cleavage is everything to a man (If you are not a boob-man, then replace that with any area relevant to your fetishes). The END.”I am extremely intrigued by this quote and decided to use it as the topic of the second tug-o-war in this site.

In this post I want to draw your attention to one (dare I say shallow?) habit that all men seem to have: judge a woman based on her outer appearance. It is like when there are two women standing side by side, one pretty and the other not so, the man automatically go into the Hot or Not mode: he cialis softtabs will make a beeline for the prettier one while the other one get tossed out of his mind just like that, without getting a second chance.

Plain Janes usually get the shorter end of the stick. They can be the loveliest girl you have ever known yet you always wonder why they are still unattached at the age of 30. They can have the best personality ever and extremely fun to be with (once you get to know them, that is) but guys are missing out on the whole lot of them just because they do not think she looks hot at the first glance.

And then you hear them complaining about where are all the nice girls in the world and why can’t they find one. Chances are they have so many around them but since in their mind, their ideal girlfriend probably looks something like this, this or kamagra soft target=”_blank”>this, the poor girls with buy cytotec online great personality but are unfortunately not Generic Levitra Professional Online Pharmacy | Buy Levitra Professional | Cheap Levitra Professional | Order Generic Levitra Professional Online without Prescription so fortunate in the looks department are overlooked.

So men should focus less on the woman’s cleavage (or lack thereof) and strive to get to know the girl better as a whole individual. It doesn’t mean that Plain Jane will stay plain forever, haven’t guys heard that love makes a girl blossom? Plus looks are not something eternal. It is going to fade away some day, so why do men put so much emphasis on it rather than getting to know girls better so that he can compare their personality?

Maybe I emphasize so much on one’s character because personality is something that will stay with a person forever. I rather be with someone who has a great sense of humor and is caring as compared to someone who is good-looking but is as stiff as an iron. Come to think of it, gorgeous guys rarely make a deep impression on me anymore. I might see one on the street that I would have thought as completely heartbreakingly handsome around 10 years ago, but now I will just take one look and shrug it off. But if I meet someone who is charming, funny, responsible and caring, I doubt it will be easy to forget him. I am weird that way.

Of course, I am not advocating girls to go out in their PJs with unkempt hair all over their face and hoping that it will be their lucky day when a guy will just stop and ask them out on a date. There still need to be certain code of hygience that needs to be observed. If you are going into the city where you are going to meet tonnes of people, at least take some time to make sure that you look tidy and presentable.

So as long as a girl looks presentable, I do not think there is a reason why guys should write them off just because they do not have the looks of a model. Get to know her better buy cheapest propecia even if you think she might look a little bit plain, you never know that you might have discovered a gem.

More and more women, even those who are blessed with good looks, are getting extremely distressed by the thought that men seem to only be attracted to their outer appearance and once they are obsessed with that, online amoxil they seem to not want to spend more time getting to know her in a more in-depth way and overlook the fact that besides looking pretty, she is also smart, caring, responsible, an excellent conversationalist, charming and so much more.

Beauty, after all, is only skin deep.



7 comments to date:


  1. taking an engineering perspective on this…

    1:the effort taken to approach a nice-looking girl vs a plain-looking girl is roughly equivalent
    2:personality is assumed to be evenly distributed, regardless of looks. you can have blonde bimbos, and you can have ugly witches.

    given the above 2 conditions, if you have only enough time to choose one to talk to, it makes more sense to go after the pretty one.


  2. I think the media has a lot to do with this too. The ‘ideal’ gets played up too much. There is a saying “You never know what a woman really looks like until you see her without her make-up.” :)

    Anna Kirstin

  3. It’s a cruel world. The media goes by the slogan screaming ‘sex sells!’ and advertisements wouldn’t stop poisoning the society with the illusion that anti-aging cream, eternal, wrinkle-less beauty is the way to go. The fashion industry makes it a point that skinny means sexy and higher pay and exposure to designers and agencies, and that beauty is highly idealised and perfected.

    It’s repulsive that after so many years to social evolution, our world has fallen prey to fame and money. I don’t see why sex sells – neither do I see why idealised form of beauty has to be that way – high cheekbones, big eyes, sexy lips (I think there’s a better word to describe it but I can’t recall) and etc. People label ordinary females as plain janes, but why?

    Beauty is only skin deep. What a person really is can’t be judged from what our eyes and see – there’s something much inside. Some people will say, oh, isn’t that the inner beauty that is coveted for? The problem is, do people know what inner beauty is? Does it mean that donating a large sum of your monthly salary to charity means that you’re beautiful inside? I haven’t seen much celebrities doing ‘hands-on’ charity work, and for the small fraction that does, some insist on looking glamorous, a stark contrast from the people whom they’re helping.

    I believe that there’s no plain jane – everyone is unique from each other in one way or another, there is simply no parallels to be drawn between anyone. There is no universal standard of beauty – I admire people who are open-minded, confident, helpful, kind and approachable, regardless of their race, skin colour, appearance, income and etc. That is the true beauty that lies beneath.


  4. Honestly, I would so love to get into a serious conversation about this topic with my guy friends. Unfortunately, I think I might just have a bout of insecurity because I can almost guarantee that even before I finish my question (at the mere mention of “cleavage”) I would see their expectant faces and probably an abrupt “YEAH NO DUH”

    I think this also comes with age and experience. Guys who always get turned down by the “pretty” ones go for the more approachable ones now. Of course that doesn’t mean they don’t ogle the “pretty” ones like they want to eat them alive or something.. but yeah.

    Sorry, I ranted and went in circles haha.


  5. Im not really an expert, but I would like to throw a little comment on the beauty thing.

    It seems to me that one of the reasons we are more into looks is because men dont generally seek long-term relationships and beauty tells many things (not everything of course) about the person, while being easy to “mesure” at the same time. So why endure long hours of talking when you just need a split second (yes, literally) to judge (tongue twister warning) quality through beauty reasonably reliably ?

    Perhaps beauty is reliable because among other things it tells how healthy a person is, and as its not easy to maintain, it tells a little bit about the attitude of the woman too.

    The thing is, given the way males work, they are naturally tuned into beauty above other things (for most man, not all!), there’s nothing personal there, its just human nature.

    If Girls want to change this its very easy: start a world campaign to only mate men who dont care about looks, do that for some few hundred years or so and voilà, man are changed! ;-)

    Just to make it clear, of course beauty is not everything, I’m sure I wouldnt stand 30 minutes with a top model who where into me but has shown herself a helpless mean super-bitch.

    Again, an overlong comment, bah! sorry for the grammar mistakes, not a native speaker here(a good excuse because Im lazy to go back and fix)…

    Oh, and Im a tall, handsome, kind and sensitive 23yo brazilian guy who specializes in liking nice-but-not-top-model-looking girls, and Im open to new relationships… LOL (but no kidding) LOL


  6. We’re running a poll on to find out how women like to look when they go out – whether that be natural, full make-up or even surgically enhanced. We’re going to be running a similar poll to find out how men would like their partners to look. Bets are on that women like to appear as natural as possible and men like them to look fully made-up. What do you reckon?!


  7. Sex sells. We’re ALL aware of that. It’s sad that a girl would have absolutely no self respect and no value for her femininity and go around selling her sexuality and showing cleavage and butt cracks and thongs and what not.

    Then again, those are the choices they made. SO I don’t believe men can be blamed for ANYTHING! If the girl chooses to show boobies over her intelligence or any sense of personality then the guy will definitely pick that signal up!

    It’s just really sad. There’s a lot more to a girl than her physic. Until things change.. we’re just adopting to shameful times, and making the best of it!



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